18 KIDZ & COUNTING, THE REAL STORY
by Kelis Khia
Summary: Beyond hilarious. It's about this TLC show, and other stuff.


**I CLEARLY OWN THE RIGHTS TO NOTHING. REGARDLESS THIS STORY IS LEGIT.**

We come upon a shack in the woods, in Waffle Town (in China). The doctor, Jin (a relative of the Duggar's and the Gosslin's-that's why he's Asian), is helping the newest Duggar child to enter the world. As it exits Anna's vag, and enters their soon to be terrible life, they see that it is a boy. Josh is so excited to be a dad, he jumps up and down, and poops all over the floor.  
"Let's name it JubJub (after the neopet)!" He exclaims. Josh announces that there is a new baby, and his whole family rushes in. There are 27 kids, Jim-Bob, Michelle, and about seven kids still stuck in her vagina (lost - they never did install a directory in that thing).  
--16 years later—  
"Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, and all you other kids, who I honestly don't know the names of, I'm gay!" JubJub came upon his first gay sex scene while traveling through Mr. Roger's neighborhood. When he first met Mr. McFeely, he couldn't tell that he was gay. Being the kind man that he is, he invited him home (to the post office), played Sexual Eruption by Snoop Dogg, and began to McFeely his way around JubJub's pants. He then proceeded to take his clothes off. In one swift moment, he had taken off the clothes of JubJub, and he yelled,  
"Speedy delivery, to you!" and then proceeded to put his massive wiener into JubJub's butt hole. Thinking he had finally found love, JubJub erupted into shouts of joy. Once the deed was done, Mr. McFeely informed that he was just a one night stand, and something to do, until Jim-Bob came over to "visit."  
"My boy, you aren't allowed to be gay, God damns the gay." Michelle and Jim-Bob are pretty Jesus-ey. Wouldn't they be shocked to know that, just last week, Josh snuck away from Anna to do the deed with the priest, at the local church.  
Sick of his parents, and his massive amount of douchey family, JubJub ran away. Except, JubJub isn't exactly smart, because he ran away to his kitchen, where he proceeded to lather mayonnaise all over himself.  
"I'll go talk to him, and enlighten him on the HEALING powers of God's hands." Jim-Bob offers. He comes upon the scene in the kitchen, and is extremely aroused.  
"Let me teach you the way of the Lord, JubJub," Jim-Bob says, adding in a sly smile. Jim-Bob begins rubbing himself (naked) against JubJub's mayonnaise covered body.  
"This will teach you the true meaning of god." Jim-Bob exclaims, and he takes his big toe, and begins to put it in JubJub's butt. JubJub is doubled over with pleasure. He begins to violently orgasm, and the cum mixed with mayonnaise, is a beautiful sight for Jim-Bob.  
"After making all those babies, you get good at stuff like this." Explains an extremely sweat, sticky and mayonnaisey, Jim-Bob.  
After an hour of "finding God", JubJub announces that he's cured. He is no longer gay, but in love with the most amazing person on Earth. Jim-Bob becomes worried, because after all, he was devoted to the poor Mr. McFeely, who was extremely lonely, since the trolley moved to The Land of Make Believe, permanently.  
"I am in love with… Jinger! I saw her emerge from the shower, and her voluptuous chest, and massive amounts of pubes, made me cum all over the place." JubJub explained.  
"No wonder the floor was so sticky earlier." Offered Michelle. Jinger was mildly upset that he had announced to the world that she had massive amounts of pubes. After all, the only person that ever saw them before was baby number 20, properly named: Jizz.  
After numerous rapings, JubJub finally convinced Jinger to be his sex slave. He forces her to corn-row her pubes every night, or he brings in young Jedidiah, who is actually a pretty violent person (he basically obliterated her asshole last week.). Jinger, still sore from Jedidiah's shenanigans, is ordered to fart on JubJub's face.  
"Put some force into it slut!" Jinger, eager to please, puts so much force in, she pops a blood vessel, and splatters fecal matter all over JubJub's girlish face. Turned on, JubJub cums all over Jinger, and the floor. After many more sex acts, JubJub gets up to make himself a sandwich. Forgetting he had just cum all over the floor, he slips and cracks his head. Instantly put into a deep coma, Jinger begins to cry. Finally she is free!  
"Now, I'm free to be with Jedidiah, my true love. I always did like it rough." Jinger slinks out of the room.  
JubJub eventually woke up, in the forest, behind the house of cousin Skeeter . Realizing he was raped, and missing a testicle, and even more importantly, realizing he was left for dead, JubJub closed his eyes, and let God take him to the Gates of Heaven.  
Upon reaching Heaven, Jubjub is informed that his access was denied. He ventures to Hell, where he is expected to be the sex slave, not of the devil (he's into Bob Barker, and is holding out until he finally kicks the bucket), but JubJub is informed that he is to be the sex slave of Helen Keller for ALL ETERNITY. Most would assume that they could run away from this dumb, deaf, and blind triple threat of a women, but JubJub had no brain.  
Back on Earth, everyone is still having scandals, and nobody misses JubJub. They hardly recall him being alive at all, except young Jazmine, the family's sad lonely dog, who is covered in Aids.

**REVIEW, OR I'LL EAT YOUR BABIEZZZ.**


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